Beer Radar
By John Krüger
Beery Joy and Beery Sorrow. (Previously published in Wine Business Magazine in 2011)
“For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.” The Bible – Ecclesiastes 1:18 (King James version)
Of course Trevor Eccesiates was talking about beer. Well, to be honest I didn’t really read through the whole thing but I’m taking a moderately educated guess. Beer takes us on an emotional rollercoaster if we let it. I’m not talking about getting drunk, I’m talking about falling in and out of love with different beer styles and facets of beer. That moment when you realise that there’s a lot more of something you’ve just discovered out there can be an uplifting if yet expensive experience.
Like all loves, you learn about the bad that inevitably goes with the good. In beer’s case we can look at three main reasons.
Bad beer stays bad – That’s right, it was pretty shit to begin with. The company that makes it has decided to pump out a beer with a few minor defects but it’s technically a pretty well made brew. There’s a heap of marketing dollars behind it, and the shareholders want a bigger dividend so they’d better make it as cheap as possible and knock the stuff out like diarrhoea in Bali. The problem is, it’s usually not very nice to drink. The majority of punters are happy with anything that’s not too offensive and gets them pissed, so it gets a huge market share anyway.
Good beer goes bad – Here comes the sorrow. There’s a new beer that’s blipped up on the radar, a simple pilsner from Europe, but it’s so bold that the everyday punter doesn’t go for it. Thanks to the fact that the perfect pilsner comes from overseas in green bottles, there’s now the chance that it’s light-struck resulting in a blunt hop character, a hint of unpleasantness on the nose and a disappointing finish. Welcome to the majority of beers you buy singularly from bottle-shops. If they’re exposed to light, including the dirty big fluoro right next to them, it’s only a matter of time before they go to shit. Unlike big beers designed to cellar, most beer is best fresh and there’s also the chance that any random beer has been sitting anywhere oppressive for an unknown amount of time.
The beer divorce – It was a good beer, then I drank a better beer. The cause of most beer divorces. I found a better beer. We met in a bar, the rest is history. Now we just see the ex-beer at dodgy barbeques, and random bars late at night. The new beer is just so more vibrant and exciting